Mayhem Monday: A Tale of Betrayal

She was doubting me. Every word she didn’t say said it all! She didn’t think I was ready for this. I had come to her for advice and for a good word, but she didn’t think I could hang!  She’s part of the “in group”. They know her. They like her. So, I need her to vouch for me, to tell them I can be trusted, to tell them I can produce quality work. But she can’t do it. She won’t do it.  She all but said so with that extra breath and sigh between her words– with the reluctant “uh” and the rhetorical sidestep that she hoped I didn’t catch.

“I’d be happy to tell them you’re a nice person.”

Wow.

I thought I had proven myself. I thought I had performed well in her presence, but her voice oozes with a polite uncertainty.

So, I’m on my own. I’ll have to sell myself. I’ll have to persuade the “in crowd” without her endorsement. I’ll have to prove to them that I’m worthy and capable of being part of their group based entirely on my own merits. Can I do it without the support of someone with higher status and cred?

Hmmm, but then again what was I looking to her for? Did I place too much stock in her worth to begin with–and too little in mine?  I was sure that her stamp of approval was what I needed to get in–but is it?


What if her hesitation to endorse me was my own? Her uncertainty in my skills and abilities, her unwillingness to vouch for me… suppose they were all mine?  Could I be my own worst enemy?

Here I am thinking she will have my back–but who is she? She of all people knows what I’m capable of, yet she hesitates.

“You know if you go in there they are going to expect you to come with your ‘A’ game,” she says with that sideways glance.

“What? You don’t think I can bring the ‘A’ game?

“Well…”

As I look around to see if she will escort me through the doors of opportunity I realize she is doubting me… and she is me!

 

Yet, “if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed…nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20)

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Mayhem Monday: Be a Kid Again!

It’s graduation season and everyone is focused on future success, but I have a feeling there’s something missing from our lively dinner party conversations and graduation speeches. It’s missing because we like to talk to graduates about growing up and reaching goals, while quietly sweeping under the carpet the realities that come with it.

Let’s face it. “Adulting” is no fun. When you’re a kid you’re allowed—even encouraged to have fun! But as we grow older we’re expected to “put away childish things” and set about grown folk’s business—all the business we were shooed away from during our childhood, I might add. Now we’re expected to solve adult problems–and be quick about it! There’s no time for dallying with paint brushes and poetry!

People grow out of creativity the way they grow out of their belief in Santa Claus. It falls by the wayside along with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy. The closer we get to adulthood, the more we learn that mistakes are to be avoided and failure is not an option. We have to get it right the first time:

  1. What will your major be when you get to college? And don’t change your mind! Even if you find yourself in classes that leave you drained.
  2. What will you do after you graduate? Don’t get it wrong! Nevermind that you’re brain dead from all those classes that you hated. Now you have a degree that you don’t want and it’s time to find a job that you’ll want even less!
  3. Then what? Spend the next 30 years showing up every day for a paycheck just because you chose to be an adult?

Nah. Let’s not put away childish things. Let’s be a kid again!

You know the great thing about kids? They mess up. And they know it! And when they mess up, you know what they do? They own it– “Oops…sorry!” Then they dust themselves off and move on! Can you imagine? Suppose you chose the wrong major? The wrong job, the wrong career or maybe you just made a mistake? Rather than acting like an adult and trying to explain it away, justifying it, acting as if you meant to do it, covering it up and pretending it wasn’t a mistake at all, why not be a kid? Own it. “Oops…sorry!” and move on!

You know what that will allow you to do? Make another choice!

It will allow you the freedom to choose another path, another job, another major, maybe another class. You won’t have to pretend as if you have all the answers or have it all together. You’ll be free from a life of misery, doing something that you never wanted to do just to please people you don’t even know!

Being a kid frees you to be creative, to try something new, to see what happens, because you can’t always predict what will happen, but that’s what’s exciting–and liberating–because when you’re a kid you’re not afraid of failure. Messing up is part of the process of growing up, yet growing up is an ongoing process of which kids have no real concept. For a kid, to grow up is just a willingness to surrender to the euphoria of free-falling into the open spaces of possibility without any clear sense of where the end will be, but to enjoy the exhileration of pure experience.

In other words…Kids know how to live!

We adults could learn a thing or two. This graduation season, I’m going to see if I can find that carefree kid that I used to be. She’s probably up for some fun, how about you?

Happy Monday!

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Cover Photo credit: Himanshu Singh Gurjar (@himanshu723)

Soul Sisters!

So, this has been an AMAZING week for the writer in me! In this one week I have had the opportunity to engage with two inspired writers who have had major impact and reach and both of them have had an impact on me.  The first person I met was W. Paul Young, author of The Shack who visited my class and spoke life into me and my aspiring student writers.  I will share more about his visit in a later post.

The other person is Chrystal Evans Hurst, author of Kingdom Woman and She’s Still Here whom I have just spent the past two days with in her home town of Dallas, TX.  A few months ago, on a whim, I responded to Chrystal’s call for interns to be a part of a six month project to help her build on her current media platform.  By some fluke–one might say God’s Providence–I was one of the 15 chosen! Now, as part of her “Mastermind 2018” team, I will help her to create and manage the content  for her podcasts and social media in order to further develop her ministry of encouraging, equiping, educating and empowering women.

Although Chrystal is a brilliant writer and speaker, she is also the most warm, kind, down-to-earth person you will ever meet. So when she told me that she thought that I was a “good writer” and that she knew she wanted me to be part of the team in order to “put my writing skills to use,” I can’t tell you how much that seal of approval meant. Validation matters–especially when it comes from someone you admire.

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But, this is not all about me! This is about the beautiful women that I met this weekend. Amazing women with an array of talents and vibrant personalities. Chrystal’s core team did an incredible job of pulling together a group that clicked immediately! I LITERALLY wanted to spend more time with every one of these ladies. We just did not have enough time together!  Each one exuded such a spirit of Godliness and love that I wanted to know them more. I wanted to hear their stories. I wished we had two more days, at least! I know that this group can and will do good work together simply because we connected so well, so quickly, which can only translate into good things for Chrystal’s ministry, which is a win for all of us. I’m truly excited about the possibilities and I am looking forward to everything that is to come.

The title “soul sisters” popped into my head because that’s what it felt like. We made a “soul” connection. First with Chrystal, then with each other and soon it will flow outward to all of you! Big things are coming, so get ready!

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Never heard of Chrystal or her book, She’s Still There? Well, this is one that that very well may change your life–for the better! Don’t just take my word for it, click here to see what others have to say.