Monday Mayhem: Dare to do what you love/hate!

We met a pediatrician recently who shared a story of his early days of clinical work. He and several other interns would see patients at a walk-in clinic. A nurse manager was responsible for doing the initial assessments then she would assign each patient to one of the doctors for treatment. As it was a clinic, there were no appointment, so on any given day one never knew what kinds of patients he or she would see.  However, this particular doctor noticed that he was getting all of the mental health patients while the other doctors were getting a variety, and often the “easy” stuff–runny noses and the common cold.  Annoyed by this apparent disparity and worn out by the more difficult patient load, he confronted the nurse manager.

“Why are you givng me all of these patients and not giving any to the other doctors? It’s not fair!” he complained.

“Why do you think?” she shot back. “You’re the only one who has proven you can actually help them. When I give those patients to the other doctors, they sit with them all day and get nowhere! My waiting room gets backed up and it’s a mess. I give them to you and you get them in and out.”

My doctor friend wasn’t sure how to respond to this, but vowed that once he had put in his time at the clinic and was able to open his own practice he would see to it that he would only see the kinds of patients that he wanted to and he would pass on those others…

Fast forward decades later this same doctor is now well-established and, indeed, in a position to choose the kinds of patients to treat, or not. And guess what? His pediatric patients who have come in with mental health issues have found his knack for counseling to be good medicine.  Word has spread to the wider community and his services have begun to fill a need. He now sees far fewer pediatric cases and far more mental health cases.

“Isn’t that something?” He said as he slipped into his crisp white coat and prepared to leave us. With a sigh and a shrug he waved goodbye and let the office door close behind him.

Then his nurse leaned in as if to share with us a little secret.”Don’t let him fool you,” she said. “He loves it, and he’s good with them. They come in here all down and depressed, then, next thing you know, you hear them in there laughing and talking. He’ll get down on the floor with them and draw pictures, all kinds of things. Before you know it, they’re leaving out of here all smiles and feeling better! He acts like he doesn’t like it, but he was meant to do this.”

Wow.

For some reason, her words hit me.

We usually assume that the things we’re meant to do are things we enjoy doing. Things we know we’re meant to do, not things we dread doing or things we try to avoid! Here’s a man who spent his entire career trying to avoid this type of work and yet he apparently has a gift for it. Is it possible that our gifts could be things we despise?

Might it actually be necessary to wrestle with the gifts and talents that we have as we figure out what we can and should be doing with them?

It seems to me that the moral of this story is that if we have a knack for something, if we’re naturally good at it–even if we don’t particularly care for it–we should not run from it. Maybe we aren’t meant to do it all the time–but for a time.  

But, when that time comes we must not turn away (if you’re good at it, and it can help someone, how can you say no?)… because some of our gifts we love… and some we hate.  It’s ok.  Do it anyway.

Happy Monday!

SignatureMed

P.S.Who’s on first? I make A Case for Second Place

Monday Mayhem: Go to Your Happy Place!

Sometimes happiness gets a bad rap. It can be depicted as flighty and fleeting, something we shouldn’t put stock in or count on too much. It’s a temporary feeling, like infatuation, that we warn teens against. Preachers say it’s far better to have joy than happiness and that God intends for us to be holy instead. But when I listen to Pharrell Williams’ song and watch this video I am reminded of what we all know is true:

Happiness is joy personified!

Sure, it’s a feeling that passes when times get hard. Of course, we don’t always feel like dancing, but happiness is also a vital part of our well-being.  It’s what gives life to our lives! Without it, I believe we would surely die—or at least we would want to (Prov 17:22)!  Besides that, it’s the very temporal nature of happiness that gives it its value. Precisely because happiness is a temporary state of being, we should cherish every happy moment that we enjoy.

My friend Chandra has reminded us that summer, too, is a temporal state, so, quick, while there’s  still time, find your summer time happy place—the beach, the pool, the park–wherever–and revel in it! Grab your favorite drink—ice tea, ice coffee, ice cold lemonade—and sip slow! Because it’s these kinds of moments that you’ll want to remember with fondness when the winter winds blow and you’re feeling low. It’s the glorious days of summer music in the park and fishing off the pier, kayaking in the rapids, scuba diving off the coast, cruising in the Caribbean—or just staying up late and watching Netflix ‘til dawn!

Whatever summer looks like to you, wherever you find a little happiness that you can tuck into your pocket to save for a rainy day, take it! Think of these final, fleeting days of summer as the precious memory-filled days that they are and enjoy every moment.

Happy Monday!

SignatureMed

Stay cool this summer with these Food Network Snacks that Taste Better Frozen or check out my own favorite recipes. Also, find more Monday Mayhem here!

abstract-summer-background_Mk3Kd3Od_L

Revamp Monday: Don’t Waste Time!

What advice  would give to your son or daughter if you had only a few fleeting moments left with them? Don’t have any kids? What final words would you say to the one you love? Sometimes it takes standing at the edge of a cliff to consider the gravity of our words and the magnitude of time. Today’s challenge: don’t waste it!

Writer’s Challenge: Make a TOP TEN LIST OF YOUR LAST WORDS TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. Use it as a springboard for a short story.

For all the mom’s out there, Tanzy has a special message just for you!

 

Check out the Monday Mayhem series and check back every first Monday for Tanzy’s Revamp Mondays! Also, don’t forget to check out my healthy recipes and there’s also more for writers here.

Happy Monday!

 

Monday Mayhem: Wonder Woman!

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved Wonder Woman!

Correction: when I was a little girl, I believed I was Wonder Woman!

I would dress up in my favorite little jumpsuit, spin around so I could transform from my human self to my superhuman self and I’d grab my jump rope, er, my lasso and I’d run around the back yard singing my “Wonder Woman” theme song and chasing imaginary bad guys.

I was fearless.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. MaryAnne Williamson

So you can imagine my excitement when the new Wonder Woman movie came out. My whole childhood came flooding back–all of the giddiness and nostalgia for that shero who kicks butt like no other woman in history! I saw the new movie and it was great. Gal Gadot is amazing as Wonder Woman. She’s everything a little girl’s hero is supposed to be!

Fearless.

But, over the years when I have read the MaryAnne Williamson quote above I have struggled with the notion that I am powerful. Williamson’s words encourage, but also challenge me. They are comforting but also galvanizing. In the same breath that she says “don’t worry” she also says “get up!” She will not tolerate belly-aching.

In Wonder Woman there is a scene on the battle field when the men try to persuade Diana that although her desire to help the people in one village along the front devastated by the war were merely necessary casualties not worth saving, she refuses to move on towards her ultimate destination without doing something to help.  But her companions insist that her efforts will be useless.

How often do I convince myself that my efforts will be useless?

There are always reasons why I can’t—I can’t get time off from work, can’t get the extra funds, can’t muster the courage. Williamson says we ask “who are we to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous,” but I’ve never once asked myself these questions! I have taken it for granted that I am none of these!

Yet she says who am I not to be?

Williamson, like Wonder Woman, asks why not?

With this statement she challenges my existentialism.

In the politics of popular opinion, she demands  a recount:  Who am I “not” to be implies that I have made myself exceptional by denying what is.  I have actually stepped outside of truth in search of a lie! ‘Who am I “not” to be suggests that I have taken up my bed, walked out of my house and into a foreign land in search of home.

As I ponder how foolish this sounds, I am left with no response to her question. And neither did those men who watched, dumbfounded, as Diana strutted onto the battlefield as if it were a New York runway. With sheer confidence and not a shred of fear Wonder Woman handled her business!

So, what are we waiting for? My younger self would have done the same! I would have donned my superhero costume and claimed my superhero title without any hesitation. So, what happened with age and the suppposed acceptance of reality? The loss of gumption. The inability to stake claim to the possibilities.

What Wonder Woman and Williamson have reminded me is that “we are all meant to shine [because] we are born to make manifest the glory of God who is within us.”

So, get out there and fulfill your destiny. Do the impossible!

Happy Monday!

Let’s start by doing the Jumprope

 

Mayhem Monday: Why the Source of your Problems isn’t Who You Think!

I want to speak on something that may not win me any popularity contests, but it’s truth: quite simply, too many of us are focused on the wrong thing. We think our problems are the result of who when in actuality they have more to do with how! We think that it’s people who cause us grief when in reality it’s how we respond to them that determines that grief.

In addition, we’re unwilling to own our stuff and as long as we don’t own it, we will continue to be plagued by it.

What do I mean?  I’m talking about our focus:

focus (1)

 

  • Rather than focus on your child’s misbehavior or academic deficiencies, you focus on everything that’s wrong with the school, the teachers or the administration…
  • Rather than focus on your insecurities or low self-esteem, you focus on how everybody’s doing you wrong, treating you badly and not giving you your due…
  • Rather than focus on your academic short-comings, you focus on your professors’ unwillingness to grade on the curve…
  • Rather than focus on your poor work ethic, you focus on your boss’ unwillingness to promote you…
  • Rather than focus on your bad habits, you focus on your friends’ unwillingness to be around you!

At what point do you turn the lens onto yourself? At what point does it become less about them and more about YOU?  When does it become your responsibility to improve the situation?

When is it time to own your stuff?

Maybe it’s  all the CNN and Fox News headlines that are starting to get to me. Maybe it’s the social media I’ve been seeing lately, but this blame game is ridiculous! Who’s at fault? Who cares? Pointing fingers is getting us NOWHERE!

Who do you blame for the problems that you’re dealing with? Is it all on the other guys? Are you sure about that?  Rarely are issues one-sided, but it’s so easy to project our shortcomings onto others.  How easy is it, though, to face criticism that is directed at us when it’s true?

Maybe, just maybe,  it’s time to look in the mirror. Nobody’s perfect, so why not figure out how to work through the imperfections rather than being so quick to attack? Why not try extending grace to others so that they may be willing to extend grace to us when (not if) we need it?  To solve our conflicts or fix our problems, why not try something different?

Why not change our focus?

Focus What will that look like for you, this focus on solutions? That’s a question you’ll have to answer, but I can tell you what it won’t look like. It won’t look like blaming or  pointing fingers. It won’t be about other people at all. It will begin with you.

What do you need to improve in yourself? In your children? In your habits? In your work ethic? Before you look outward, look inward.

Happy Monday!

SignatureMed

Don’t forget our Cityscape Challenge! Share pics of your favorite spots in the city or town where you live. Also, why not kickstart your day with my Green Tea Smoothie and a Tabata?

 

Mayhem Monday: Dreams & Determination!

My niece and nephew graduated this weekend and, of course, I’m super proud of them! They each chose a different path, but both tore through the academic wilderness and emerged unscathed–well, they survived anyway. After all, what’s a war without a few batttle scars?

Victory is the child of preparation and determination.

(Sean Hampton, actor)

They were priveleged with great parents who prepared them for their successes, who equipped them with all of the necessary tools–private schools, summer camps, extra curriculars–as well as the intangibles like love and security.  Yet, Tyler and Greg had to find their own way in college. Mom and Dad couldn’t study for them or finish their assignments. Once the foundation was laid, the building was up to them.

The “Different World” can be a scary place when you’re facing it all alone…

mouse

Funny thing is, a different world is where Greg and Tyler are NOW!

Kids often think that preparation is the time at home.  To an extent that’s true, but what my niece and nephew are about to discover is that they’ve actually been in a safe haven all this time. College is just an extention of home. It’s still a place of preparation as professors and administrators dictate courses and curfews (especially when you attend, as they did, a parochial school affiliated with a highly conservative religious organization.)

Oh yes, the real world is still waiting…

But I’m proud of them, nonetheless.  I know they’ll make it.

We’ve done all we can to prepare them–we, the parents, the aunties, the professors, the surrogates.  Now we’ll watch as they spread their wings, and we’ll hope that the determination that brought them this far will carry them the rest of the way!

And for all the other Tylers and Gregs out there, setting out on your own, just know that life is full of surprises. Your future may or may not turn out the way you envisioned it, but you can be sure that success is possible if you stay open to the many ways it may be manifested. For our Mayhem Monday motiviation, check out Laura Berman Fortgang’s TED Talk on “Finding Your Dream Without Looking at Your Resume!” And I wish you all Godspeed!

SignatureMed

 

Monday Mayhem: Get Motivated!

I am FIRED UP!

The semester is wrapping up and the summer is almost here! But before we get to the graduations, recitals and weddings that this month promises, I want to talk about the kind of heat that comes–not from the sun–but from within…

I’m fired up about the passion that I’ve seen in my students this semester. They are proving that the pen is, indeed, mightier than the sword as they tackle the serious issues that concern them. You may remember that I challenged them to do research projects on topics of their own choosing. My only requirement was that it be a topic for which they are passionate!

I must say, that for the most part these have been the most interesting end-of-the year essays I’ve ever read in a Freshman Composition class! These students took thier jobs seriously and charged ahead into issues they cared about:

  • improving the athletics program at our school
  • questioning the relevance of HBCUs
  • challenging contentions within a religious organization
  • calling for better waste management in the Bahamas
  • and appealing to the officials at Rykers Island to reconsider their use of solitary confinement.

These are just a few of the problems that they tackled and even as they understood the limitations of their power, they also felt the excitement that comes with the possibility that somebody might actually listen to them! Imagine if something they’ve said reaches the ears of someone who can do something?

That is the power of the pen. The power to transform words to life. That’s what motivates me and I’m excited to see the light in their eyes as it seems to have motivated them as well.

There’s another issue that one of my students wrote about and, by coincidence, I discovered this movie short that addresses it.  Watch this powerful performance, then let’s all get FIRED UP! Because words mean nothing if they don’t lead to action.

I’m motivated to do something, how about you?

smallsignature