Revamp Monday! Acceptance

Acceptance. It’s what we crave.

If you’re a writer you may be familiar with that feeling you get in the pit of our stomach as the blinking cursor arrow hovers momentarily over the “submit” button just before you send off a manuscript or query. It’s called fear of rejection. Even emailing a draft of something we’ve written to a friend is like sending a piece of ourselves into the world to be judged, we may as well be offering our head to the guillotine!

Our “selves” may take many forms. Whether we’re writers or professionals, parents or students, we’re all striving for success–and how do we define success? By the extent to which others accept our performance or appearance–or both. It’s easy to become consumed with our efforts to achieve success–and acceptance–but, how many of us are chasing after something that’s already ours?

How different would our striving be if we recognized that regardless of what’s out there, what’s in here is already great. “But, where’s ‘here’?” You may ask? Look around. The answer might be right under your nose! Thanks, Tanzy!

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I was just few months into my fitness journey. You know, the honeymoon phase. The phase when you feel like you can conquer the world. The phase when you consider taking up a modeling career after you lose all the weight and become irresistibly sexy. That phase where you can look all your food vices straight in the eye with the confidence of a Spartan army, knowing you are stronger than your cravings!  I was “feeling myself,” as they say and I was patting  myself on the back for a job well done. I was in the gym daily for 3 months straight. I was drinking 80 oz of water regularly and I had even gone down 2 dress sizes!  I was on cloud nine! Shopping had become my new favorite activity–I loathed it before my transformation. 

Looking through some pics I decided to assemble a before and after picture so that I could bask in my amazing transformation. At this time I was homeschooling my kids and spent endless hours surrounded by little humans under the age of 5, but I was desperate to share this visual display of my success with someone who could celebrate with me. No grown ups to be found, I turned to the next oldest in the room–my 5 year-old-daughter. I pulled up the picture collage on the computer and, beaming with pride, plopped it in front of my kid asking a very baited question: “What do you think of mommy’s picture? Do you notice anything different?”

Her little face beamed at the challenge. She leaned in toward the picture and studied it like a “Where’s Waldo game.” After some time she was finally ready to give her answer: 

“In this picture you have a red shirt. In that picture you have a blue shirt. In this picture you have ponytail. In that picture you have straight hair. In this picture you’re smiling and in that picture you’re not. In this picture you have grey shoes and in that picture you have black!”

“Wait what?! That’s it?! You don’t see my slimming waist line, my sleeker arms, my shrunken belly or my thinner thighs?” I thought. 

Next enters my 1-year-old staggering towards us, dying to see what we are  studying. He let’s out one word as he looked at the screen. “MAMA!” 

The reality is that the people that love us most never see our flaws. My kids never knew I was overweight. They never saw my stretch marks, or my cellulite. They never saw me as a number on a scale. They only saw me as their nurturer, their caregiver, their protector and their friend. No matter what pic I showed them, they only saw one person, “MAMA.”

Tanzy Chandler
Physical Therapist
Group Fitness Instructor
Founder of
REVAMP FITNESS
“Become a Better You”
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Kids are awesome at putting things in perspective. Remember this family moment? Be sure to check back every first Monday for more Revamp Monday inspiration with Tanzy!
Happy Monday!

 

 

Monday Mayhem: Do the Right Thing!

Why are Mondays so hard? Is it because of Newton’s law—“a body in motion, stays in motion,” so a body that’s motionless remains so? I suppose, then, if you’ve spent the weekend mentally and/or physically in “chill mode” it will take an act of God to move you from chill to work mode, then, huh?

Yep.

Today is a Monday, for sure.

Literally, every class I walked into the faces staring back at me looked like this:

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So, it’s on me to bring the energy–no pressure–yeah, right!  As if I haven’t been laid up all weekend too. I have problems of my own! No matter. When all eyes are on you, you have to step to the plate. Mondays come whether we like it or not—whether we’re ready or not. We just have to zip up our big girl or big boy pants and decide:

what is the next right thing?

I thought about this when staring back at those less-than-enthusiastic faces and when I watched Mel Robbins talking about the 5 second rule that propelled her out of a rut and into her successful career. Lynn Cowell, too, echoes this sentiment in her latest book Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You, because this difficulty with figuring out what to do next starts when we’re young. But, really, it’s an age-old concept. Leo Tolstoy’s parable “Three Questions” lays out clearly how to handle hard tasks: one at a time.

You see, the secret to pushing past the Monday blues and don’t wanna-get-out-of-bed days that keep us stuck in dead-end jobs, in crazy-cycle relationships, in counterproductive mindsets is answering one simple question: what is the next right thing?

Not, “what is the answer to all my problems?” Not, “how am I going to solve all these issues?” Not, “how do I climb Mount Everest!” But just what is the next step? How do I make it through this next challenge—even if that challenge is getting out of bed!

The reality is, we will never know all of the answers or have everything figured out anyway. So, waiting for the full picture to be clear will only frustrate us. The only thing that’s certain and completely in our control is right now and although taking control of each moment seems so simple it can also be so empowering! If I take control of this moment and do the right thing right now—even the smallest right thing–then perhaps the next right step will be revealed by that action and I will know what needs to be done next! And after that? Well, I’ll wait for that moment to come.

Yes. Mondays are hard. But they don’t have to be. All you have to do is tackle them like every other day–one moment at a time.

So, do the right thing…have a Happy Monday!

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Monday Mayhem: Fight!

One of the most difficult things that I have had to deal with as a writer is the daily fight with demons.  They’re called  Doubt.

  • Doubt I’ll come up with a topic today.
  • Doubt I’ll ever be a good writer.
  • Doubt I’ll ever be a published writer.
  • Doubt anyone will read what I write.
  • Doubt anyone will be interested in my writing.

On and on it goes.  Those doubting demons attack daily. And so, before I can ever write a word, I have to fight.

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Which is why I have Mayhem Mondays, and especially why I have Revamp Mondays. To help in that fight…to strengthen my mind as I strengthen my body. Join me in the fight!

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FIGHT DEPRESSION WITH YOUR FISTS!

by Tanzy Chandler

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“I start each day with prayer and God reminds me that, “He has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a SOUND MIND”

I first started noticing symptoms of depression in my third year of college. I was used to being an athlete, but since starting college I wasn’t playing any team sports because of schedule conflicts and I started noticing a feeling of constant fatigue and low energy.  I was easily overwhelmed by the simplest tasks.  I was losing interest in the activities I once loved and started feeling hopeless about my future.  It was all very gradual. There was no traumatic event.  As far as I could tell, I had no reason to be sad, yet I was.

I started seeing a counsellor which I found to be helpful, but over the years the depression became more and more paralyzing.  I was numb on the inside, just going through the motions of life.

Then, after a back injury, my doctor encouraged me to start exercising in order to strength my back and lose weight, so I started riding my bike a couple days a week and I was reminded that my body was craving physical activity.  But a leisurely bike ride was not enough.  The more I exercised, the more intense I needed the exercise to be. I joined a group led by  a trainer who incorporated weights in a circuit training style cluster of functional exercises.  I quickly became one of the strongest in the group, in part, because I was driven to push myself to heavier weights and more challenging exercises. After being with that group  for a few years I later discovered crossfit, which is defined as functional movement, constantly varied at high intensities. It combines HIIT, powerlifting, Olympic lifting, gymnastics, and plyometrics. Every single crossfit workout  gave me that natural exercise high that I was craving.

After an intense workout my mood almost instantly improves.  Exercise has been known to cause a release of endorphins in the body which increases the serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain.  My husband always tells me that he can tell when I’ve had a good workout because I come back from the gym smiling.   Those chemicals are directly connected to our mental health.  Our bodies were designed to move!!  THAT IS HOW GOD CREATED US.

Our mental, physical and emotional health are all intertwined, so exercise is critical for a strong mind.  It may not be weight lifting for everybody, but I’ve found that lifting weights releases the right amount of endorphins which starts that positive chemical chain reactions that improves my mental health.

In 2015 I had foot surgery and I was very concerned about my mental health during my required bed rest period.  I knew that weight lifting and high intensity exercises were my “antidepressants”, and was afraid of how my mood would change without the ability to stay active. My doctor  prescribed antidepressants during that time to help my mood while I was recovering. To be honest, I’m not really sure how much it really helped. Maybe a little, but they were no substitute for my exercise routine. After being on the meds for a year, I gained 15 pounds and wasn’t nearly as mentally at peace as I had been while I was exercising. Once my surgeon cleared me to begin lifting weights again, I weaned off the medication and signed up for my first crossfit competition.  The weekly training required to prepare me for the competition was just what my mind and body needed.

If you are reading this and you are struggling with depression then I highly recommend that you begin exercising regularly–3 days a week at minimum. Find a trainer or fitness friend that can teach you how to incorporate lifting weight safely and effectively into your routine. Not only will it improve your mental health, it will also strengthen your body and help you to manage your activities of daily living with more ease.  The key, however, is consistency. You can’t do it once in a while; you must do it regularly in order to see the benefits.

I start each day with prayer and God reminds me that, “He has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a SOUND MIND,”so I can attack each day with hope and courage!

Happy Monday!