I want to speak on something that may not win me any popularity contests, but it’s truth: quite simply, too many of us are focused on the wrong thing. We think our problems are the result of who when in actuality they have more to do with how! We think that it’s people who cause us grief when in reality it’s how we respond to them that determines that grief.
In addition, we’re unwilling to own our stuff and as long as we don’t own it, we will continue to be plagued by it.
What do I mean? I’m talking about our focus:
- Rather than focus on your child’s misbehavior or academic deficiencies, you focus on everything that’s wrong with the school, the teachers or the administration…
- Rather than focus on your insecurities or low self-esteem, you focus on how everybody’s doing you wrong, treating you badly and not giving you your due…
- Rather than focus on your academic short-comings, you focus on your professors’ unwillingness to grade on the curve…
- Rather than focus on your poor work ethic, you focus on your boss’ unwillingness to promote you…
- Rather than focus on your bad habits, you focus on your friends’ unwillingness to be around you!
At what point do you turn the lens onto yourself? At what point does it become less about them and more about YOU? When does it become your responsibility to improve the situation?
When is it time to own your stuff?
Maybe it’s all the CNN and Fox News headlines that are starting to get to me. Maybe it’s the social media I’ve been seeing lately, but this blame game is ridiculous! Who’s at fault? Who cares? Pointing fingers is getting us NOWHERE!
Who do you blame for the problems that you’re dealing with? Is it all on the other guys? Are you sure about that? Rarely are issues one-sided, but it’s so easy to project our shortcomings onto others. How easy is it, though, to face criticism that is directed at us when it’s true?
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to look in the mirror. Nobody’s perfect, so why not figure out how to work through the imperfections rather than being so quick to attack? Why not try extending grace to others so that they may be willing to extend grace to us when (not if) we need it? To solve our conflicts or fix our problems, why not try something different?
Why not change our focus?
What will that look like for you, this focus on solutions? That’s a question you’ll have to answer, but I can tell you what it won’t look like. It won’t look like blaming or pointing fingers. It won’t be about other people at all. It will begin with you.
What do you need to improve in yourself? In your children? In your habits? In your work ethic? Before you look outward, look inward.